I’ve been thinking this week about how much my emotional state can affect my reality. Although events that are disappointing, stressful, or exciting can somewhat affect an experience, my experience really comes from how I manage my emotional response to the situation. I’m someone who definitely feels my emotions on the 1-to-10 scale, meaning that I can feel incredibly happy or deeply devastated. This translates into my emotions really ruining, or amplifying, my experiences.
When I’m back in Home or at Rice, I’ve learned how to manage my negative emotions through adapting to one of my self-care tools. It’s easy for me to adjust a bad mood by hanging out with friends, calling family, going for a long walk, swimming, getting a yummy treat, or taking a break outside. However, here in Nairobi, where pretty much everything is different and I don’t necessarily have easy access to those options, I’ve had to learn how to change my mindset and perception.
I’m currently in Kenya through the Loewenstern Fellowship, working with The Pangea Network, a nonprofit focused on women and youth empowerment.
I’ve found that a situation is relative based on so many aspects. It can depend on who you are with, whether you have been there before, or other outside events, but I think your experience is primarily your emotional response to the situation. I’ve found over the past month that if I allow myself to become stressed or frustrated, I will succumb to that emotion for hours, ruining an experience for myself. But, if I try to change my emotional response even a little, it can really transform an experience.
It’s been a month—halfway through my time here in Kenya—which has naturally prompted a lot of reflection. I’ve reflected a lot on how this experience so far has shifted my views of myself and the world. And even in that larger reflection, I’ve noticed how much my emotions can decide that perception of an entire month. How was it difficult? How was it easy? Where did I learn the most so far? What other areas can I grow in? All these questions have answers that change dramatically based on my emotions.
I’ve reflected about this idea of perception especially after interviewing women business owners of the Agroupa Mandazi Women’s group last Friday. Note that Mandazi is a type of breakfast donut popular in Kenya (see photo below).
This Mandazi is lemon flavored!
This women’s cooperative received a micro-loan and training cycle years ago before the Covid Pandemic from the Pangea Network. They still functionally operate as a cooperative, with 20-some members, in Ongata Rongai, Kenya. Ongata Rongai, or Rongai, is the county right below Nairobi, and it only takes about 30-40 minutes to drive there.
Rongai main produce market
I didn’t know how many women from the group were willing to be interviewed, but once we arrived, we learned of the 7 women who wanted to share how the Pangea Network has changed their lives. Our interviews were focused on the impact of the loan and training on the success of their business revenue and quality of life.
We really didn’t stop for a break in-between any of the interviews across Rongai, given that almost all of the women have multiple children who come home from school in the evenings. As I listened to their stories throughout the day, I was, and still am, in awe of their bravery and resilience. They spoke of their hardships, in such a way not to get pity from me, but to truly speak to their experience of starting a business. Many of them emphasized the importance of remaining hopeful. That as long as they keep believing in this idea of hope, they will continue to survive.
To hear how they still are trying to expand their business, by moving to a larger location, or investing in new equipment, to care for their families, is so inspiring. One woman I spoke to shared how she is feeding not only her three children and her sister’s children, but also her mother and very sick brother. After she shared that emotional story, she then shifted in how she wants to expand her business location and how she actively discusses women’s rights in the market she works in. Her ability to seamlessly navigate her extremely difficult challenges with her strong sense of female entrepreneurship is inspiring.
It makes me think again of perception. These women could very much be negative, angry, and depressed; it would be fair and understandable. But, they continue to be hopeful, positive, and honestly, resilient. They’ve shifted their emotions to better adapt to their experience, thus making themselves succeed.
In some ways, what these women taught me during our conversation echoed the very lesson I’ve been learning in Nairobi myself: that resilience isn’t about avoiding discomfort, but about choosing how to respond to it. While I’ve been missing familiar comforts and tools to shift my mindset, these women reminded me that hope itself is a form of emotional discipline. It isn’t a great big decision for them—it’s cultivated inthe quiet everyday decisions, daily gratitude, and mindful practices.
I hope that I can continue to carry this idea of perception with me through the next month here. I also hope to bring these lessons back with me to Rice. Especially the idea that emotional discipline and perspective shape how we experience challenge and growth, both in and out of the classroom.